Disney!!!!!!!!!! I'm coming
I'm standing in front of a large piece of wood writting "Welcome, Hong Kong disneyland Resort"
In December 2015, me and my whole family went to Hong Kong. Paint, Punt, Japan, Jeva and Nene, my cousins are all with me to play together
"Yay! we're in disney land!" I shouted but other's voice was so loud nobody can hear me
"Where do you want to go first?" Japan asked
"Well, lets look at the map" Jeva said
"I want to go to TOMORROW LAND first!" Japan siad
I open the map and look and the small little drawings.
"This one looks great! The space mountain!" I told my cousins
"Lets go" said Japan.
We walked pass the DISNEY sign and give the tickets to the staff.
"whoooo!' I shouted
We walked passes the Chrismast tree, we turn right and walk pass a sign
"TOOMORROW LANDDD!" I look at the sign
"YAY!" Japan said
We ran straight to space mountain, there was so much adult in there, no body younger than 20.
"We are the only kids in here." I told Japan
"I don't have the tickets it's with my mom!" Japan shouted with shock
"Me neither!" Jeva shouted after her sister.
"Tell my mom then." I try to find a solution.
"We can't get out now, it's too late!" I said "Mom, Japan and Jeva don't have tickets!"
"Really, maybe they can use my ticket!" My mom shouted through lines of people so we can hear.
A while after that,
"it's gonna be our turn!" I said scary
My mom and my aunt walk to us
" Are you okay?" My mom ask.
"I think so." I told them
"So exciting!" Said Japan and Jeva
"Bye mom, we are going in!!!" i told mom, we move closer and closer to the roller coaster.
"WOW!" The three of us shouted.
Inside the dome was dark blue with fancy colour lights.
" This is amazing!" jeva said.
"How many people?" A staff ask.
"Three." I answered
"Okay, wait here." The same staff said
A roller coaster arrived
The people in the different lines walked into the roller coaster.
"Lets go!" I told Jeva, who is going to sit at the same row as me.
"Scary!" Japan siad
We get into the roller coaster, the staff came to check us and walk away.
After all staff walk back to their position, the roller coaster start to move.
"Whoo!" I said "We need to be relax."
"okay." Jeva said "I'm so scared, Fourth
" It's okay, squeeze my hand" I told Jeva
The roller coaster stop.
"Is it okay?" Japan said
"Remember the last group? They need to stop too." I told japan feeling a bit stomachache.
" Just scream." I told my cousins
The roller coaster start to move into the darkness, I start to scream.
"Whoooooo!" I shouted " Feeling soo good" I start to close my eye
After that nobody talk. I felt like I was the only one talking in this whole roller coaster. But hopefully it's not. Jeva start to scream as we have a fast 100 degrees. We move left and right all over the place. I opened back my eye again.
" This is not totally dark! There are lights!" I thought to myself
Jeva squeezed my hand so tight I can't breathe normally. We go up the hill and we stopped
" We gonna f." I didn't finish my sentence yet and the roller coaster start to fall down at 100 k.m. per minute.
"Whoooooooooo!" I screamed into the space. Actually nobody cares what we do in here. They don't even know who is screaming. Well, only me and my cousins know it's me. After the fall we come back to fancy colour lights room
" That's all?" I asked after a hard time.
" Really?" Said Japan
"Anyway, this is the BEST ride in my life!"Come join me at HONGKONG DISNEY LAND
I really like how your wrote your story. I really like how you have many dialogue and it's very fun to read your story. Maybe you can recheck your story too because sometimes it have a wrong spelling but overall it is very good and I really really like it. I like your title too.
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ReplyDeleteThis is a unique way to write a story. Sometimes it can be confusing with using mostly dialogue. Next time trying blending the dialogue with more description and inner thoughts or feelings.
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